Raised by a schizophrenic mother?
I was 12–13 years old to realize things were not pretty much normal at my home. I couldn’t talk to mom about how I spent my day, or if I had a sad day at school. I couldn’t figure why I never got a tiffin or how everyone else is in school so neat & tidy. She was too attentive in something which I never understood then. ‘Maybe she had something important to deal with almost all the time’, is what I thought for myself.
Keeping my early teenage feelings and doubts aside, I tried to understand her behavior. I noticed her unusual tantrum during any time of the day and also all of the sudden during the nights. She talked with someone I couldn’t see at all! Gradually the problems raised and by now she was tagged as a mentally retarded women by society. Dad being a sensible person couldn’t understand where things collided from the natural path. He listened to what people had to say about her and tried local & spiritual remedies to cure her but that never helped.
Gradually dad gave up and nobody cared. Time kept passing and by now, I was a high school boy with the same day to day issues at home. We frequently had fights over small issues, sometimes she would keep quiet and sometimes she would scream like it’s an apocalypse. She would escape from home during mid-nights and roam around anywhere like a night owl. We’ve spent numerous nights searching for her here and there till early mornings. She won’t care if the food is cooked or the mattress is dirty. She was I don’t care master by now.
The fights never stopped due to her not cooking food, sometimes not washing clothes and sometimes because she would do nothing at home. So I thought I realized about the problem, it was the household kinds of stuff. I started taking her responsibilities at home one by one. I’d try to keep the home clean, get food from Bhaaji Poli Kendra and also started looking for groceries and other essentials. I’d constantly invest my complete-time & energy into this stuff, so much that I started ignoring my actual duties i.e. studies and academics. I barely managed to pass!
This went on for 3–4 more years, we were all alive at home mostly only talking to each other over important stuff. We had conflicts 2–3 times a week where my mom and dad both would shout at each other like the end of the world over silly things. Dad thought she was not mentally sick and acts like one deliberately. And I would keep thinking why is there no end to this despite so much of my efforts and time. I’d keep thinking every single day but couldn’t find out an answer.
I was 22 now, I was still wasting my time & energy on household stuff to save mommy from the daily tantrum. I’d stress myself out so much that one day I realized I need to see a psychiatrist. I searched for one online and found out about Manoday Neuropsychiatric Hospital in Kalyan. I went there for myself and explained doctor my situation. He said, ‘I was in mild depression & suggested me some medicines’. I took them for a while and tried controlling my state of mind. But every time I tried being at peace there had to be a new quarrel at home which would bring me back to a certifiable state.
I realized the actual problem was mommy’s mental health which everybody took for granted and that’s what needs to be fixed at first. I went to Manoday Hospital for mommy this time. Doctor Amit explained to me about schizophrenia & also started her medicine. I’d always take care of her in a loving way so the first part was already into action, the second being medicines was taken care of equally. It took her 2–3 months to show good effects of the medicines, gradually mommy started getting better and better. She started taking care of herself, there were no more screams at home and her midnight strolls were converted into a deep peaceful sleep sessions.
I took this very seriously to make sure she never misses a single dose of her medicine, And 6months down the line she surprised me to such an extent that today she not only is perfectly fine but also takes good care of us as well. The only criteria are to make sure her medicines are consumed on time or the episodes start again.
Understanding someone’s mental health is more difficult than curing it, it’s easier to say one is mentally sick and abandon him or her to ruin their entire life. What is more difficult is to help them get back on track & see them live a normal life. Our society terms mental health as a crime and keeps watching while you drain in disguise. When someone undergoes mental health, he or she also is a victim of domestic violence, people look towards them as an easy target to pour their grudges. Saving someone from mental health is like saving one’s life who was about to die. Respecting respectful people is easy, try respecting the ones who have no respect and see them cherish you for your entire life! Thank you.